A New Family

so it's not quite 5 weeks - just 32 days pregnant - and still very early. I haven't really got excited about it yet. Absolutely terrified it's going to fall out. In the middle of last week I had two days of quite moderate constant pain in my lower abdomen. Tested positive right in the middle of that, but even though the pain's gone now, I still fear it was the fertilised egg being rejected and that my body's just waiting to expel it. Every time my breasts swell up and get sore (and I mean really sore - much worse than premenstrual!) my mood goes up, but then they return to normal and I get scared again. Am walking round feeling them it public just to keep constant check on their current state - very bad habit!!!

It's also really hard because I know just how Cagney feels, happy for me but terribly sad that it's not her at the same time, because I felt exactly the same when she was pregnant. In the end, I realised that if we manage to make a baby, once it's here it won't matter who gave birth, because we'll both fall in love with the baby - after all who doesn't love a baby? Doesn't make it any easier to watch Cagney go through the same feelings, though.

So. Off on hols tomorrow. Please keep fingers crossed we have happy news when we get back.

Labels: ripley, symptoms