Monday, November 20, 2006

 

Didn't Work This Month

A bit sad when I realised it wasn't to be, but sort of releived as the thought that it could have been positive is terrifying.  Don't get me wrong of course I want it to work, it's just scarey that my life will change!

Will try again next week, & see what happens.  It may work this month for Ripley anyway.....fingers crossed.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

 

The TWW begins!

So, insemination complete. Went easier this month, I think. It would be absolutely lovely if it worked this month, as the insemination was in the 2 day window between the anniversaries of my parents' deaths, but I'm much calmer about "am I? Amn't I?" - I think I've learned my lesson that hope can lead to dismay. So finger's crossed, keep my mind busy, and see what's what in a fortnight.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

 

Preparing for next insem

It's been quite a relief the last couple of weeks knowing for sure I'm *not* pregnant. Able to exercise/drink/eat without worrying what it might mean for something that may or may not be growing inside me. Not really looking forward to the coming 2 weeks of uncertainty.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

 

Waiting

It seems like forever & it's only been a week!  One more week to go.  I don't think I am but I won't know until next week sometime.  It feels so strange to think that there might be something inside of me, but I'm trying not to get too excited about it.
I really miss having a drink, I don't drink loads but we went out with Travolta at the weekend to socialise & it was so hard going to the pub & just drinking tomato juice.  Although I do feel quite virtuous about it! 

Friday, November 10, 2006

 

Yesterday

Monday didn't go as planned!!  I had this feeling it wouldn't, but then again I'm always pesermistic about things!  Travolta couldn't deliver, not his fault tho, people at this place of work wouldn't leave & time was getting on, so we left it at that.  Yesterday worked out much better tho.  Although I was far too nervous to be able to relax with Ripley even after half a bottle of champaigne.  The thought of his stuff inside me & what it could turn into is going to turn anyone off! 

So now I have to wait for 2 weeks & go thro all the emotions that Riply went through.  I really don't think it's going to work, Ripley says I have a 20% chance which really looks bleak, & I missed my positive day which was 2 days ago.  So it'll be good practice if nothing else!

Monday, November 06, 2006

 

Not this time

So it didn't work. But it was kinda harder to deal with emotionally than I'd expected - particularly as I was a couple of days late, and because my temperature stayed up, my mind started inventing the future. It all came crashing down when we got home after a lovely night out celebrating friends' civil partnership (yes - it's LEGAL in the UK, though the churches won't let us call it marriage).

Oh well. Chin up, stiff upper lip and all that, eh?


 

My turn!

I'm feeling quite nervous about it now. The pick up will be in a few hours time. Will write more tomorrow, if I don't bottle out of course!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

 

WTF?

So today should be the end of TWW. I'm pretty much certain it's not worked this month, and my temperature dipped yesterday. But things are confusing b/c I had a fever the two days before that, and it's gone back up today. Also, breasts are still really sore, and that normally stops a couple of days before I'm due. I did an early pregnancy test just in case, and that's negative. So, like, WTF should I be thinking now?